Let’s face it, we ALL do it. Yes, you. You know what I’m talking about…. Those little thoughts that creep into our brain when we least expect it. You know those thoughts that slowly chip away at our self-confidence, even on the best of days.
The first step to changing your thoughts and thus your behavior is to start identifying those thoughts that are actually hurting you and hindering your progress. Once you can identify the bad thoughts, then you can refocus on positive thoughts and thus good habits.
10 Most common Thoughts that sabotage you
- All or nothing: Looking at things in absolute, thinking of ourselves as either complete successes or total failures. Failures are always an opportunity for growth. Growth leads to success.
- Overgeneralization: Looking at a specific flaw or mistake we made and generalizing it to our entire self. It can also be when we’re extrapolating how we feel right now into the future. What you are feeling now or doing now, does not mean that is the future.
- Mental filtering: Filtering out the positives and focus entirely on the negatives in our life. Flip this and focus on the positives and turn the negatives into learning opportunities.
- Discounting the positive: Telling ourselves our positive qualities or successes don’t count. Write down 3 things every single day that you have to be grateful for. Keep the list and read it weekly.
- Jumping to conclusions (fortune telling/mind reading): Making inaccurate assumptions without any evidence.
- Magnification and minimization: Exaggerating the negativity or minimize the positives in a situation.
- Emotional reasoning: Assuming the way we feel has to dictate the way we act. In truth, feelings come from thoughts and our thoughts are often distorted.
- Should statements: Assuming yourself, others or the world should behave according to your expectations. Everyone is different and often we waste so much energy on what other people are doing or not doing instead of spending that energy on ourselves.
- Labeling: Trying to capture the essence of ourselves (or others people) through one word. It’s an extreme form of overgeneralization.
- Self-blame and other-blame: Blaming ourselves or others instead of identifying the true causes or solving the issue.
Do one of these speak to you more than the others? Do you struggle to believe in yourself?
For those struggling to believe in yourself, listen in on a quick chat that I gave recently on this very subject.