True or False: There are times when you don’t succeed and the energy to keep going even a little bit is nowhere to be seen.
Who answered yes? ✋🏻
>> Please know that you are NOT alone! <<
The reality is when you have a setback of any size, it’s really easy to start allowing the small kernels of doubt to seep into your head. The idea that your current situation could end up being the new normal forever slowly starts to take root inside your mind.
For so many of us, it’s so easy to make a setback very personal and to start seeing ourselves as the failure simply because of what happened or didn’t happen.
However, this line of thinking is so very destructive. It can drag you down and get you stuck under a dark cloud of self-pity. I see and hear this from so many people. Things did not go their way for reasons many times outside their control, but they look at it as they are not good enough or worthy enough for the “it” to go the right way.
>>So, let’s change the perspective.<<
Failure is simply an opportunity to learn. Reframe the term failure to setback.
A setback is something that will happen at some point. Setbacks can actually be very helpful and usually depending on what they are, those setbacks can be, and usually are, temporary.
Now, here are 3 steps that can help you along the way to change your perspective on how you look at setbacks and/or failure:
1. A sobering reminder.
Take a few deep breaths to calm down and then remind yourself: You’re not a failure just because you failed.
See, setbacks happen to everyone that takes chances. It’s quite simply a part of living life fully. If you never fail, then you never truly live.
Sometimes things go well and sometimes they don’t. So don’t make a failure into this huge thing or into your identity. Don’t let a setback label you or you label yourself. Most especially don’t let a setback DEFINE you.
I would also like to point out that those few people that may get it completely right the first time, never grow because they never have something to learn from. Growth is very essential to success.
2. Get something helpful out of it.
Ask yourself: what is one thing I can learn from this setback? Use the mistake, stumble or setback to your advantage as you go forward. Back in the 80s, the Rubik’s Cube was a huge phenomenon. People were obsessed with trying to figure out how to get the puzzled solved. Each attempt actually proved to be another hint in how to solve the puzzle.
3. Get going in some small way to make it temporary to yourself.
I definitely understand that it’s so tempting to sit still and feel sorry for yourself, to beat yourself up or to just do nothing.
I’ve done it a few times if I’m being honest.
But, I’ve also found that the best way to convince myself that this setback is just temporary is to start moving again. What’s is an often used phrase… get right back up on that horse?!
So, I take one small step forward. Or I take what I can learn from what happened and make a small action-plan that I can use to avoid making the same mistake again.
Just taking one or a few small steps might not sound like much. But, it can work wonders for your optimism and self-confidence.
At least that’s at least been my experience.
Are you ready to get out of your own way and change your mindset? I dive into the empowering shifts you can make with my FREE Mindset Shift workbook that will help you see a different perspective and help you on the road to a brighter future. Download is >>HERE<< and start shifting your mindset TODAY!
Sandy Adams 